Some personal musings tonight. I am fortunate to have some inner reflection while watching my kids grow. I’m no longer a child, but many of my school-aged experiences stick with me to this day.

I shared the below message with personal friends/family on Facebook, and it resonated so well with fellow former-children that I thought I’d share a public version here on my blog. After all, I work with many families. I don’t have all the answers, but I do understand the struggles.

Image of my son, used with his permission.

I just sat down with my 8 and 5 year olds at the coffee shop this morning and had a candid conversation about being your own best friend first.

It's really hard for introverted (and extroverted) children to find "safe people" who are peers, and I thought back to little Stephie in 5th grade and 11th grade specifically, when it was easier to hide in the bathroom stall (or computer lab) than it was to be social.

Starting over every year with new classmates, changing schools, and moving on to new jobs, new cities, etc isn't easy. But we gather, retain and use tools every single time... and that part does get easier. And look at me now, ma… I’m doing OK.

Kids can and will have a crap year, and aren't aware that mayyyybe just around the corner will be the day they find their chosen people/person.

Love yourself first as you are, and anyone who matters will follow, my kids. It may not seem so now, but alone time will become precious instead of being scary. Be OK with eating that burrito you love near a sunny window all on your own. Treat yourself to a warm drink at a coffee shop with only the company of a good book. See the movie you want to see, even if you have tickets for one.

Finally, brush off peers who actively reject you, because they won't be around for long anyway.

We also enjoyed this conversation while eating macarons and croissants, so that was helpful.